Happiness is a Choice - No Matter What.

You can be happy no matter what happens in your life if you don’t let others control your attitude.  This is a very deep statement.  How can we live like this?  How do we apply this theory to our life?  

Over the last few months, I have seen a lot of unhappy people lash out on social media, because of what they believe is going on, not what they researched, not what they have facts on, just what they believe is going on from comments and gossip.  

Recently over lunch a friend of mine said “you must have skin as thick as steel for all the things that get thrown at you.”  I pondered on that the rest of the day.  A Bible Study on the book Philippian that I recently completed came to mind. 

In Philippians 1:15-17, Paul shares with us four kinds of people that were impacting his ministry while he was imprisoned in Rome.   There were his friends and “co-workers” that supported and encouraged him in his work.   Others were busy criticizing, competing, or conspiring against his ministry.  

Paul wrote “It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.” Philippians 1:15-17

There is nothing that robs your happiness faster than being criticized while working hard or feeling like others are working against us.  Why?  We want approval and to be liked.  It is human nature.  

Paul goes on to say in  Philippians 1:18, “It does not matter! I am happy about it — just so Christ is preached in every way possible, whether from wrong or right motives. And I will continue to be happy.”

During the recent tornado, I made a post at the direction of another emergency management organization, regarding clothing donations.   The post was posted, I logged off, and went on about my business.  As I was sitting around a table with some new friends from Missouri Baptist Disaster Relief that were ministering to a woman who was at the brink of having a nervous breakdown, my phone rang, it was the EMD calling to chat with me about the post I made.   

They explained to me that people complained I was not easy to work with.  I was completely caught off guard, I had just finished hugging a sobbing woman, and building a plan to add more showers to a community without water and electricity.  I took the “whipping” and hung up the phone.  Still in shock.  As I stood there for a moment my phone began to ding.  Text message after text message with screenshots of horrible things being said about me.  I was a dictator, a glory whore, someone who controls everything.   It wasn’t me.  Not really.  I probably would have never made the post unless directed, but it was a post that needed to be made. Clothing can be a disaster within a disaster.  I can share more another day on that.  

This post has spiraled numerous times, grown wings and became another post, and brought on additional rumors and gossip about me.   While many of those posting are declaring “they love Jesus.”     

As my friend and I chatted about the critics in our community (hi critics), I thought about Paul’s message in Philippians 1:18, “It does not matter! I am happy about it — just so Christ is preached in every way possible, whether from wrong or right motives. And I will continue to be happy.”

I have adopted this motive for my community work over the past few months.   It does not matter what others do, just so the good in my community is shown everywhere as much as possible, and as loud as possible.   

Start fifty new Facebook pages with fifty new groups; maybe 50,000 new people will see something about our community and drive to our town and fall in love with it.   Talk about me on threads and tell people what you think - every time you do, someone new comes into my shop to figure out who I am, and guess what,  I get to show them the love of Jesus.   

Happiness is Choice

I am happy as I choose to be! If others are unhappy with me, that’s their choice. If I don’t have someone’s approval now, I am probably not going to get it. And I am going to be miserable if I try to live for the approval of everybody else or those that simply don’t like me.  

Paul explains in verses 29 and 30 of 1 Philippians why you can be happy no matter what: “For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. We are in this struggle together. You have seen my struggle in the past, and you know that I am still in the midst of it” (NLT). 

Paul tells us it is a privilege to suffer when you’re doing the right thing because you’re most like Jesus nailing you to a cross and trying to get at you.

I can be happy no matter what happens if I look at every problem from God’s viewpoint and never let what other people say or do control my happiness. 

Parenting is Exhausting. End of Story.

Many years ago, okay not many, but at least fifteen years ago people would tell me with time it will get easier. She will sleep more, you will have a routine, and you will catch up on sleep.

Those people are liars! 

Fifteen years ago, I was young and I had energy, but then she was born and I never slept again.   I remember all the experienced moms telling me with time you will have a routine and you will catch up on that sleep you were missing. 

Last night I laid in bed and listened to all the chatter happening in the room below me.  I stared at my ceiling and recounted all those people that are LIARS.  Yesterday, I was up at 6 am for one of her "events" and my head finally found my pillow again around 11pm.  

Yes as infants you have to feed, water and change them all hours of the nights.  However, at teenage years you have to chase them, fund them, and they talk back at all hours of the night.  

So to you new moms out there, I will not lie to you.  You will never catch up on your sleep.  Ever!   The days will be long, the nights will be short, and if you ever think you will have money again - HAH!  Good Luck!  

****Disclosure "haters are gonna be haters, if you think that I am complaining about parenting, you are wrong and have landed on the wrong blog.  I am just being honest"  

Bittersweet of Chaos and an Unexpected Change of Plans

Over the past two months I have been bracing myself to be traveling a large part of the summer for

work.  Two Friday's past just hours before the end of the work day and two days before I left for my

first work trip I received notice that my trip was cancelled and they were unsure about the rest of my work trips for the summer - the following Wednesday I was informed those trips were also cancelled with no notice of when they would be rescheduled.

Knowing the juggling act I had performed making arrangements for myself, my family, and those that depend on me - I became angry.  I sulked, I spouted off negative comments, and I was frustrated at the situation.  Yes, not traveling would be more convenient for me, but I prefer my life organized, so I was bitter.  

Today, in the ladies restroom at church, a wise woman that has taken special interest in my life asked about the upcoming chaos of the travel I had been preparing for - as I explained that everything had been cancelled and I was unsure when or if it would be scheduled - she could hear the frustration in my voice (it was still there).  She said "Ya know, God has a better appointment for you this week, you just watch and see".

I have no clue what God has in store for me this week, but those words were a sweet reminder that he is still in control of my life work trip or not.  

Celebrate Being Mom Daily

Fifteen years ago, I woke up Mother’s Day morning, satup in bed, and lost everything I had ate the night before.  As I made way to the bathroom to clean myself up I could barely stand up, scared to

death of what was going on, I was rushed to the emergency room.  At five months pregnant, I was well past morning sickness, I had no fever, and there was no explanation for continuous vomiting.  The ER staff begin a routine assessment; check my heartrate, blood pressure, and temperature.  All was good, so they moved on to check baby.  The next thing I heard was “I can’t find baby’s heartbeat” another nurse raced to the room, they pressed, prodded, and turned me - nothing, no heartbeat.  My heart sank, I laid there thinking that my first ever Mother’s Day would also be my last Mother’s Day.   Several hours later and after an excruciating “backwards” ultrasound as they called it, they found baby’s heartbeat and she was healthy and hiding from them.  That day when I heard the “whoosh whoosh” of her heartbeat come over the ultrasound speaker, I vowed I will always celebrate being a Mother, even on the worst days.  

Being Mom is a tough job, no lie, I have shed a many of tears over my now fourteen and ten-year-old babies. I have also busted out thousands of laughs and beamed full of love when they remind me of my duty here on Earth. 

As Mom, I celebrate big thing like making the Volleyball Team, Color Guard Squad, Honor Choir, and the BUG Club.  Then I celebrate the important things like making it to work on time fully dressed in matching shoes (don’t judge me), remembering to pay my kids school lunch account after the 3rd reminder call, and not forgetting pajama day or not getting pajama day mixed up and sending my kid to school the wrong day of the week in pajamas (again don’t judge me).  

This week as we approach that one day of the year that the nation celebrates the importance of Moms – instead of just celebrating that one day a year, remember to celebrate being Mom daily and the little and big hills that you climb, as those are the important days in life.  

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mom’s no matter what your Mom life is like!

 (this editorial was originally featured in The Banner Press, please support our local paper) 

Becoming a Minimalist in a Cluttered World

I crave clean spaces!  I enjoy the uncluttered areas of my home; give me a large empty room with no junk and I feel like I am on top of the world. 

The problem is my family is the opposite; I have diagnosed them as hoarders of junk.  If you walk into my daughter's room right now it looks like Walmart threw-up in there!  Junk Junk Junk!  Everywhere!  No doubt there is loads of unfolded laundry mounding in the corner.

Friday night I made the decision I was going to get rid of my living room furniture!  I was tired of cleaning around the massive, overstuffed, uneasy to clean, awkwardly shaped beast, known as my couch and chair.

When I would look at these pieces of furniture, I would envision the granola bar wrappers, the dirty socks, and the candy wrappers that had been stuffed down in the crevices of the couch.....this made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  Hiding clutter inside of clutter!

Moments after I posted on Facebook begging for someone to take this nuisance off my hands, I got the first text, let me see your new furniture.  Umm...I haven't bought any furniture yet!

Ya see I am on a mission to find the exactly perfect piece of furniture!   In my mind, I have this perfect idea.  The furniture will be clean, harsh, with straight lines.  It will be resistant to hiding dirty socks, empty wrappers, and TV remotes.  It will sturdy and bounce resistant. It will match everything I put in my living room at all times.

So since my list is strict and hard to find, to the great embarrassment of my kids, I have moved our patio furniture inside to act as my minimalist furniture until I find or create that perfect piece.

Their response to our makeshift furniture.  

Speak Truth, Life, and Love - the Clothes Dryer

This morning I was listening to the local radio station and they were discussing their "word of the year" - over the past year I have had this urge to speak, but have not been certain where it was coming from.  As I drove past the many open fields and the glorious sunrise - I knew it was God talking to me saying you need to SPEAK and speak about Truth, Life, and Love.

Oh boy here comes the Suzie Sunshine kind of post - well if you know me or have followed me for a minute, you know Suzie Sunshine RARELY comes out.  Truthfully, I have been HIDING my true personality for probably a greater portion of the past year - yup, I have lived fear "what will they think, whose feelings will I hurt"  Smhhhhh  forget that!  I really think that is what God has been telling me - you need to SPEAK from your true identity - you know the one that does not hold back and does not live in fear.

With that said, here is a story of Life and our Clothes Dryer. 

In the picture below you will notice that the front of our clothes dryer says in big bold letter "you must press START for clothes to get dry" for some this is common sense, but in our house it is a real struggle.   

Our clothes dyer only has to 2 settings, not actually, but these are the only settings that seem to work - is the dryer only runs nonstop with the SAME load of laundry in it over and over for like 8 to 10 hours straight or it sits with wet laundry in it for 8 to 10 hours or better without ever being started.

The nonstop with SAME load of laundry in it works like this - if the dryer is running the clothes are still wet, EVEN if we have started the same load of laundry over 10 times for the past 48 hours.  It happens folks, I am telling you it HAPPENS.

The wet laundry sitting for 8 hours or more - this is what we called distracted mode!  You see we put the laundry in the dryer our Snapchat goes off and our world STOPS we wonder off to our room and the dryer never gets started!  

These to clothes drying habits often results in what we call "Momma is gonna Snap mode" especially when it is her clothes sitting there wet for 48 hours plus!

We have not developed a remedy for these issues, nor am I accepting advice for solving the problem, as I know the problem will truly be solved when my kids are grown, my house is empty, and I will miss those soggy stinky clothes or that continuous sound of same load of laundry being dried over and over and over!

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7    

Holiday Greetings from Our House to Yours

Holiday Greetings from Our House to Yours

My mailbox is filling up quickly with Holiday Cards, but just like years in the past I am a fail at sending my cards out!  I think if you dig through my Christmas boxes you will find many unopened

boxes of Holiday Cards that had good intentions of being mailed, but failed!

So like years past, here goes our holiday greeting card via our blog!

Life in our house has only gotten busier.  Trey and I keep praying for it to slow down, but God keeps opening doors and we can't help but walk through them!

Lesse is almost done with "middle school" as she is entering her final semester of 8th grade!  She definitely is our multi-talented child with so much ambition!  This past year she played volleyball, softball, basketball, and made all-district band!  We are super proud of her academic, sports, and musical accomplishments!  Outside of school she has started a tiny little ministry where she is a pen pal with  little girls - this has been super fun to watch her write back and forth and share secrets and wisdom with little girls that look up to her!  We know that even at her young age Lesse is a leader and God has many plans for her adventurous heart.

D, our little man is finishing his last semester of "elementary" and will enter middle school next year! Momma's baby turned the big 10 this past month, yes Momma cried!  D remains our child that stumps us with his quick tongue, unique statements, and never ending curiosity!  D opened the door to music by joining Honor Choir this year at his school - we love his passion for music!  This past January D made the decision that he wanted to work for God, so he was baptized into the family of God. D has such a servants heart and this year has made huge commitments and sacrifices to be able to give back to his friends and neighbors - including buying his whole class ice cream, just because he cares about them!  It is so fun watching D and his giving heart - we know God will use his passion and empathy to do good things!

Trey's life has only gotten crazier as Lesse and D add in extra activities, his truck has become the taxi cab of neighborhood. This year Trey reconnected with an old youth group friend and we as a family had the opportunity to serve in inner city St Louis with Love the Lou - it was great to not only see old friends, but meet new friends and open doors to what we hope to be life long friendships. We are thankful Trey's job has been busy over the past year, God has blessed us well.

As for me, well I am still in college.  I keep thinking it is just a few more classes and it is, but seems to take forever! Last year (2016) I transferred departments and am able to remain working in the field of my degree, but with a less crazy schedule!  So very thankful for a steady normal schedule and good benefits in my employment.  I have also been blessed with being able to serve my community as our local Chamber of Commerce President - such a treat to be able to return my love to the community that loved me and helped mold me as a child.

As for 2018, we do not know where 2018 shall lead us!  Trey is considering a run for leadership in our community - we know if it is God's will he will open that door.

If I remain on schedule with my college classes (my advisor gets annoyed as I change it a lot) I should graduate December 2018 - I have had to reduce my class load to be able to parent, work, and serve my community!

We assume our kids will grow another foot or so next year to pass us up and be taller than us, but that  will also be left up to God!

We pray you and your family have a very Merry Christmas!

Love,

Trey, Becky, Lesse, & D

Cultivating Change in The Inner City of St Louis, Missouri with Love the Lou

Change comes with time, effort, love, and dedication.  Outside of our comfort zone, but within our own state there are people that are struggling, there is communities that are in distress, and there is families searching for change! 

Recently our family and a few of our friends had the opportunity to serve with Love the Lou in Saint Louis, Missouri.   Never had I had the opportunity to take my kids on a mission trip - and I wanted to be able to share with them the experience of serving and showing God’s love to others.

Love the Lou is a movement of restoration for the City of St Louis, Missouri – the mission works to restore, rebuild, and cultivate change within the inner city.  North City also known as the inner city of St. Louis is well known for gang violence, crime, street shootings - making life difficult for the families and children growing up and living within the community.

On our brief trip to serve with Love the Lou we spent time working in their Enright Community Gardens, learning about the Enright Avenue community, and visiting with the youth involved in their STL Lift program. 

The Enright Community Gardens are a unique project developed by Love the Lou – currently there are three gardens, each serving a different purpose for the community.

Garden One is filled with raised garden beds; families choose their garden, plant and maintain the garden throughout the growing season, and feed their family from the garden. 

Garden Two is more of a flower garden with a unique environment giving families a safe spot to enjoy an afternoon picnic, host a birthday party, or even come together for worship.  The garden includes picnic tables, a gazebo, a small library, and room for kids to play.

Garden Three is known as the Urban Farm – by far this was my kid’s favorite garden – the garden currently has a few raised beds and a chicken coop that houses five “city chickens”.  Families take turns caring and tending to the chickens; giving the caregiver family farm fresh eggs in return.

While we spent much of our day working in these unique gardens – we also spent most of our day serving beside the youth from the STL Lift program.  I must admit that the gardens were fun, but my husband and I’s hearts went to the young men and women in this program – they make a commitment to not become part of the inner city’s problem and instead work towards changing their own life as well as their community.  These are kids are close to the age of our own children, but have faced more challenges than we have as adults.  We knew we were there to serve them, but left knowing they impacted us more than we would ever impact them.

The Love the Lou mission began in 2009 by Lucas Rouggly with hope to find simple and practical ways to serve the city, from that hope sprung an organization that serves multitude of families and children in an area struggling to find hope.  

4 Ways You Can Love the Lou

• Pray for the community and those serving in the community.  
• Sponsor a STL | LIFT students with a monthly gift and prayer support for your student.  
• A one time or a monthly gift to the organization. 
• Subscribe to their newsletter to stay up to date with serve opportunities.   
• 
  

(Disclosure:  This article originally appeared in The Banner Press - please support our local paper by purchasing a copy or a months subscription.) 

One Year Down on the Road to Eternity.

It was suppose to be the hardest year of our lives, they said that we would struggle, they said the adjustment period would take a toll on us. 

It has been one year to the day since Trey and I began our life together as a family.  It has been a ride

Photo Credit Elizabeth Rae Photography

of a year; in the middle of adjusting to all of us living under one roof, I started a new job and we bought a new house - but that didn't seem to stop us.

I remember sitting among a group of newlyweds and listening to the chat about how hard the first year of marriage was - I almost felt guilty for not feeling like we were struggling and later I even questioned if there was something wrong with our relationship - we were not fighting constantly.  

One day I was chatting with my friend and discussing the fact that I couldn't understand why Trey and I were not the typical "newlyweds" - or how they describe the first year of marriage.  She laughed at me and said "Becky you are not typical, your marriage was not considered normal to today's society, and your marriage was built around God - not lust"  - quite a compliment, but.......

Sometimes I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop and one of us spend a few nights on the couch angry - but then I remind myself that marriage is not designed for battle, it is designed for companionship, friendship, and a helpmate. We do not need to fight to be married - we need to love.  

We owe this first year and the next hundred or so to God and like our wedding day, I am excited to see where year two takes us.  

I told you about my little nothing town

The house where I came from

I told you sometimes I lose my faith

I wondered why someone like you would even talk to me

I told you there's no fixing me

Cause everybody's already tried

Why did you stay? You could have left.  

I could have waited, it would have all came out eventually

I told you all the stupid things I've done

I could have blamed it on being young, But I was old enough to know, I know

 I told you the mess that I can be

When there's no one there to see 

You said you would look the other way, cause you love me anyway. 

 I told you I planned on staying here, My dreams are here

And I knew your family is gonna want you to stay there.

You know what? I don't blame them

So I said what I didn't want to

And just prayed you wouldn't leave 

 You loved me anyway, you love me anyway

So before we go another year - I just want to say, I love you more than ever before! 

(lyrics modified from Darius Rucker, If I told you)

Goodbye Single Life

As D said "we will no longer be single, we will marry Trey, and it will be us all the time"....

Tonight, I kissed Trey goodbye, drove home with Lesse and D...this will be our last night of not living together!  :-) 

The kids and I talked about the past, the present, and the future - the future was their favorite (mine also).

We said goodbye to what was once and are ready for what is gonna happen!  

This week is the week of changes.....

I gave up my full time stressful job......

I snuggled with this cute guy....

I remembered this girl is smarter than me...

And tomorrow I marry my best friend...

GaGa, he is the one!

Dear GaGa,

Oh how my heart has missed you, but I know you are where you belong.

You are still in my daily thoughts and often in my daily conversations, but I am writing to tell you

that you have been replaced in so many ways.

Years ago we had so many conversations, you were my inspiration, you were the one I wanted to be like, you loved me unconditionally, you prayed relentlessly for me, you praised with all you had, and I was your pride and joy.  I thank you for that - those moments have truly paid off.

GaGa, this weekend I will say "I will" to my new best friend, my new prayer warrior, the person who inspires me to work harder, pray more, shout louder, and follow God into the unknown.

GaGa, he is not famous, he does not have millions of dollars, he does not care for what this world has to offer him, he is not known by many......

BUT

He loves Jesus, he loves me, and he loves those grandbabies of yours!

While you will always be in my heart and I will see you again one day soon, this will be my last letter to you - I am devoting those "special" conversations to him.

I want to grow in God with him, I want to share those funny thoughts to him, and together we want to do God's work.

I love you GaGa always will.......

Becky

Sex, eMeals, and Marriage

Hot out of the gossip isle in the local grocery store is the burning questions you have asked about sex, eMeals, and marriage - three things I am happy to talk to you about.

Did you get a lot of negative feedback for talking about sex on your blog? 

NO!  Actually my recent posts about saving yourself for marriage and having pure relationships have went crazy.  I sense that people are craving and looking for answers as to why their relationships are failing.  I have heard nothing but good things about those post and actually struck up several good conversations about God and how to have less drama filled relationships.

I am happy to talk to anyone about this topic, so if you have a question or are searching for answers - ask away!

What is eMeals?  Do you like it? Does your kids like the meals? 

eMeals is this program that you pay for, but helps you plan your meals and your grocery list - the

my fav eMeals lunch

recipes are simple, you can access them on your phone or computer, and the goal is for you to eat healthy on a budget.

Do I like it?  That is an understatement - this program has made my life so much simpler and I feel so much better than I did when I just threw food together.  Yes the program cost a little money, but sometimes spending the money is better than dealing with an unhealthy diet and stress of cooking.

Do my kids like the meals?  Well sometimes as parents we have to act God like - sometimes God feeds us a dose of something that we do not like, but we still have to eat it.  So........the kids are not alway fond of the foods I cook (they miss junk food) however, both of them look healthier, feel better, and by far are not starving.   So I suspect they will survive.

When are you getting married?  What is this about going to marriage counseling?

We are getting married on April 30th - I am so excited to spend eternity with Trey.  He is an amazing man, a Christian (like me), and he has proven to have good parenting skills (even though he does not have children.

Yes we are doing premarital counseling!  I wanted to have those unanswered questions answered - however, found that there really are not that many.

We are doing this neat little study by by Francis and Lisa Chan called You and Me Forever - this takes a different look on marriage.  The focus is keeping your eyes on God and your marriage will fall into place - I am on chapter 3 and I suggest this to program to EVERYONE that is married or getting married.

No Sex Before Marriage - and Answering Your Questions

Months ago I started talking about waiting until after marriage for sex - little did I know this would

bring more questions than criticism.  This "old fashion idea" has raised so much curiosity.

While at no point in my initial stand did I believe that this would become a testimony for God, but last night I realized that it has.  Over the past few months I have had some unusual questions, so here is the answers.

Why did you decide to wait for marriage to have sex? 

I would like to tell you that my decision to wait for marriage was because of my faith in God, however, it was more of a logical reason than backed up by scripture.

To answer the question "why did you decide to wait for marriage to have sex" starts with the question "why did my other relationships (marriage) fail" - the answer to the question is my previous relationship(s) were not founded on love they were founded on lust and sex.  They started out in the bedroom and were forced to grow into a relationship.

As I looked back over the years, I could pinpoint all the mistakes, where all the problems started and they all started from rushing into the bedroom too quickly.

So the decision to not have sex was founded on trial and error - I knew from my past mistakes that having sex too early was a recipe for disaster.

 Colossians 3:10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator

Do you want to have sex?   

Yes, I am still human and I still desire to have sex - I am not broken.

Do you ever feel tempted? 

UHHHHH DUH!  Have you seen Trey?  Of course temptation happens, in fact when that question was asked I thought back to a night that Trey and I were parked talking, one thing led to another and I found myself quoting Bible Verses as a defense mechanism against my own wants and desires - if you are wondering, it worked and gave us something to laugh about.

Do you think people judge your idea?  

Really?  You just asked me about my beliefs and you want to know if people judge my idea?  I know people think I am weird, they have told me that my idea is dumb and they would not date me if I wouldn't have sex.

What does he think about waiting? 

Trey respects my decision and actually took the stand for himself - we both look forward to our honeymoon - but are enjoying this time of getting know each other.  

Do you talk about sex with your kids?

We do not live in the 1920's - sex is everywhere - on our TV, on the radio, on the shelves at Walmart - I have NO CHOICE, but to discuss sex with my kids.  Yes, my kids know that we are not having sex until we are married - I pray that I lead by example and show my kids that you can be an individual and have your own beliefs no matter what the world is telling you.

 Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Do you live together? 

NO we do not live together - this lessens the temptation greatly, I suppose!

Have you spent the night together?  

Yes we have, we travel as a family all the time - it would inconvenient and expensive to rent separate lodging.  With our busy lives and crazy work schedules; the weekends we are typically together from Friday evening until I return to work on Sunday.

Do you mind talking about your decision to not have sex before marriage? 

No I do not, or I wouldn't talk about it on my blog.  I wish everyone could experience a true relationship - a relationship founded on love and built around God.   When someone ask me about my decision I see it has an opportunity to give my testimony and show them how God is working on me.

Love, Proverbs, and Engagement...Goodbye 2015

So if you would have asked me "are you getting married" this time last year I would have laughed in

Trey and I 

your face.  However, like many other years 2015 has taken me for quite a whirl....a good one.  

2015 hit like a storm; a storm from God.  He put me under such conviction that I couldn't deny what he was saying to me.

I begin to listen, begin to grow, and begin talk about what he was doing in my life .....then he introduced Trey to my life - funny how when you follow God's command good things come to you.  

Trey is different than anyone I have ever met - because Trey loves God before he loves me.  His love is pure, it is not caught up in what I can do for him, it is not about my body first, and it is not sporadic love.  

This week Trey said to me "the more I read Proverbs 31, the more I think of you"

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 

[b]A wife of noble character who can find?

    She is worth far more than rubies.

11 

Her husband has full confidence in her

    and lacks nothing of value.

12 

She brings him good, not harm,

    all the days of her life.

13 

She selects wool and flax

    and works with eager hands.

14 

She is like the merchant ships,

    bringing her food from afar.

15 

She gets up while it is still night;

    she provides food for her family

    and portions for her female servants.

16 

She considers a field and buys it;

    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 

She sets about her work vigorously;

    her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 

She sees that her trading is profitable,

    and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 

In her hand she holds the distaff

    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 

She opens her arms to the poor

    and extends her hands to the needy.

21 

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 

She makes coverings for her bed;

    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 

She makes linen garments and sells them,

    and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

    she can laugh at the days to come.

26 

She speaks with wisdom,

    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 

She watches over the affairs of her household

    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 

Her children arise and call her blessed;

    her husband also, and he praises her:

29 

“Many women do noble things,

    but you surpass them all.”

30 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 

Honor her for all that her hands have done,

    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I was almost speechless as I reread Proverbs 31 - knowing that he truly believes these things about me.

As I wrap up 2015 - I will be working tonight - I have to say this is a year I want to keep in the books!

Happy New Year - see you in 2016

Three Girls, One Boy in Walt Disney World

(Disclosure: parts of this trip were sponsored, however, all thoughts and opinions are my own or my families....I cannot be bought - even by Walt Disney World) 

Sooooo we are in Walt Disney World this week - in case you didn't notice.   

I brought the kids this round, only I realized right away that my handsome little D-man was highly out numbered 3 to 1. 

I have always said that D was a ladies' man, but I never realized what that truly meant until this week. 

D is diversified, truly diversified.   I don't think he has even noticed that he is the only boy among our group, I don't think he has minded that he has hung with girls most of the time, and I really think he loves his girls with his whole heart.  

D having ice cream with the girls.  

While I cannot claim all the glory to this success, as I obviously have help with the kids this week, but there are things you can do to help your 1 boy fit in with 3 moody girls.

Let him stop and enjoy the moment.  

Boys are messy, they are curious, there is no reason to rush them, just let them do their thing and they will be happy!  

I loved that Walt Disney World's Epcot Park had this mini splash park with where D could just cool down and blow off some boy steam.  

Let him take his time.  

Sometimes boys just need quiet time - sitting and doing a small project, may help him detox from those chatty girls! 

Visiting Canada inside Epcot, he got his creativeness on and made a bear that could travel the world or Disney World with him.  

Posing with sister is NOT always a good idea.  

Sister's beauty often overshadows his charm.  Posing for a mocked up photo can really dampen his mood and ruin his day.  Catch those special moment photos when he is not expecting it.  

Epcot has some amazing flower gardens, but obvious D could care a less how pretty this flower garden or his sister is,  

Include him even if he the ONLY Boy

He needs to feel he belongs, even if there is an obvious difference!  Of course the girls wanted to pose this way, but D just fit right in.  

Let him know that YOU love him for who he is.  

It is okay that he spilled his soda all over the back seat, it is okay that his muddy hand prints are all over your clean pants, it is okay that he picked his nose and flicked the booger at sister - YOU have to tell him you love him because he is who he is.