One Year Down on the Road to Eternity.

It was suppose to be the hardest year of our lives, they said that we would struggle, they said the adjustment period would take a toll on us. 

It has been one year to the day since Trey and I began our life together as a family.  It has been a ride

Photo Credit Elizabeth Rae Photography

of a year; in the middle of adjusting to all of us living under one roof, I started a new job and we bought a new house - but that didn't seem to stop us.

I remember sitting among a group of newlyweds and listening to the chat about how hard the first year of marriage was - I almost felt guilty for not feeling like we were struggling and later I even questioned if there was something wrong with our relationship - we were not fighting constantly.  

One day I was chatting with my friend and discussing the fact that I couldn't understand why Trey and I were not the typical "newlyweds" - or how they describe the first year of marriage.  She laughed at me and said "Becky you are not typical, your marriage was not considered normal to today's society, and your marriage was built around God - not lust"  - quite a compliment, but.......

Sometimes I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop and one of us spend a few nights on the couch angry - but then I remind myself that marriage is not designed for battle, it is designed for companionship, friendship, and a helpmate. We do not need to fight to be married - we need to love.  

We owe this first year and the next hundred or so to God and like our wedding day, I am excited to see where year two takes us.  

I told you about my little nothing town

The house where I came from

I told you sometimes I lose my faith

I wondered why someone like you would even talk to me

I told you there's no fixing me

Cause everybody's already tried

Why did you stay? You could have left.  

I could have waited, it would have all came out eventually

I told you all the stupid things I've done

I could have blamed it on being young, But I was old enough to know, I know

 I told you the mess that I can be

When there's no one there to see 

You said you would look the other way, cause you love me anyway. 

 I told you I planned on staying here, My dreams are here

And I knew your family is gonna want you to stay there.

You know what? I don't blame them

So I said what I didn't want to

And just prayed you wouldn't leave 

 You loved me anyway, you love me anyway

So before we go another year - I just want to say, I love you more than ever before! 

(lyrics modified from Darius Rucker, If I told you)

People are not disposable….

It is no secret that this past few years has been nothing but a train wreck straight from hell.  I often think to myself that I will one day wake up and this will have all been a dream and I will step back and will have my happy little family back again.  Then I slap myself to reality and remember that I must remember the good days to get through the bad days.

I have not wrote much about my divorce for several months, because every time I would say something I lived in fear that it could be considered slander, or every time I posted something people would say I was whining, bashing, or just being a baby. 

Today, I have decided to speak up and speak loudly.  I am NOT whining, bashing, or being a baby the ending of my marriage was nearly devastating.  I loved my husband with all my heart, I think many of my readers can recall how I spoke about him, posted photos of him and the kids, and I was always anxious for him to come home at the end of the week.  He was the one person I thought would always have my back, and then I realized that Satan could and had pulled him away.  There were times over the past year I would see glimpse of hope or the “old” him, and then they were always followed by the “other” him.

Every day I want to scream THIS IS NOT FAIR, because dammit it is not fair!  This is not how I had planned my life to be, this is not how I had wanted my life to be when I married him, and this is not what I wanted for my kids.  It is not fair that I have to tell my kids daily that I don’t know why this happened, I don’t know why this is the way it is, and no things will never go back to the way things use to be.

Daily I hear about another family going through the same battles I have been fighting or have fought over the past few years and my heart just breaks!  I question the value of marriage, what people think when they say “I do” and I question are people this disposable that we can throw one spouse away and quickly replace them with new someone.  To me marriage is an oath not only to your partner, but also to God that you will love, honor, protect, cherish, and walk on hell’s fire for that other person. 

Last week, I was questioned if I was truly over “him” and I rather giggled…..truth is I will never be over him and until you have walked in my shoes you will never understand how I feel.  He is the father of my children and I will always love and pray for him.  Every morning I begin my day with prayer and I pray for his protection, for God to guide him through the day, and him to find peace in his heart.  I have been judged, marked, and spoken about, because I do not give up on him and I do not hate him.  I have been bitter in the past, have said things that are hateful, but as I have learned I needed time to grieve!  I have also learned that people feed on drama, hate, and bitterness; they will keep the drama flowing as long as they can....I do not desire that!  I live for peace, love, and happiness!  

The pain I feel now is not the same pain I have always felt, it is the pain of knowing what is going on, but not being able to do anything about it.  Every 2 weeks I send my children to visit "him" and when they come home, I hear things that I wish I never had to hear, and I am sure many single parents can relate to this same feeling.  This is not how I had hoped my children’s life would be, this is not how I intended for my kids to grow up.  I wanted them to have both parents living in the same house, see both parents loving them together and apart, and understand how God intended marriage to be.  However, this is what I was dealt and this is what the game of life I will play. 

I feel strongly that God is telling me that this battle is not over, that I need to continue to pray a hedge around my family, and oddly, I need to continue to pray a hedge around “him”.  I believe in my heart that while we may not see eye to eye on much of anything that he is and can be a good person, and may someday do great things in this world.  I also believe that people are not disposable and everyone that has entered my life has entered for a purpose.  His purpose was obviously the gift of my two amazing children! 

As I continue this journey as a “single” parent, I ask of you as my readers, my friends, and my family to continue to pray for our children, “him”, our future, and me.  I know things will never go back to the way they use to be, but I know that we can and will have a bright future!

God Bless,

Becky 

Hello Single Mommahood!

So it is "official" okay technically not official, but it has been declared that I am on my way or well already living as a SINGLE Momma.   While this is no laughing matter, especially not to my kids and I, it is still something I have to live with.  Many people think that reality has not sunk in on me and that one day I will find myself weeping into my pillow worried about how I will survive.  I cannot guarantee I will never do that, but like many marriages, relationships, and life situations we see change coming and we embrace it.....I know many of you are shocked and I do apologize that it appeared we were the perfect family one day and giant mess the next.  I suppose we all deal with life in our own ways and my personal coping method has been to believe things will get better if I think they are better.....well that did not work!


This summer has been nothing, but interesting as we are dividing property, time, life, and still battling out the past.  However, no matter where you are in life you will find inspiration in something...mine does happen to be travel and ADVENTURE.   I have decided to create my BUCKET LIST of things I plan to do with my kids and create special memories between them and I.

- Take a LONG Bike Ride- I plan to take Lesse & D either to ride Tunnel Hill Trail or Katy Trail soon, so they can see that we can still have exciting adventures.

- Airplane Ride- Dillard badly wants to ride in an airplane..he cannot remember the last time he flew, so soon I want to take him on a short plane trip.

- Travel by train- I am going to travel by train somewhere with just the kids, give them that gift of excitement.

- Go Hiking- the one thing Dillard said when we talked about Daddy not being around all the time was Momma we can't walk in the woods....well that a crock of xxxx!  Momma can go hiking just the same, so I plan to go on a REAL woods hike with my little folks.

- Count the stars and stay up all night- I am stickler to bedtime rules, well organization, and reducing the chaos, but I have decided we have the need to count the stars and stay up as late as we can.

- Learn to use the BBQ Grill- motivated by my fellow single momma friend who mastered cooking steaks on her grill I too want to master that, so I can still enjoy some of our favorite foods.

These all seem like minor short details in life, but as I have said over and over it is really the little things in life that matter the most. 

I will leave you all today with a song that I accidentally downloaded and find uniquely inspiring....may you have a wonderful week and days full of adventures!

Video by:  Casting Crowns "Praise You In This Storm"

PLEASE Respect our Privacy...

I have delayed commenting about this, and I have feared saying much of anything, but I have realized others are talking for me, so I must speak up for the sake of our children.

I know many of you follow my family and I either here on our blogs, on Facebook, twitter, or even at the grocery store and I know lately you have noticed things are not exactly the  same.  I refuse to share details or deal with twisted tales for the sake of my 2 darling angels that don’t deserve to deal with anything negative.

Ryan and I, much like many other marriages, have came to a time that we can no longer agree on everything in life.  With that said our disagreements are between us, not us and the world, us and our children, or even us and anyone else.  We have a firm belief that no matter what happens in the end everything we do in life, rather publicly or inside our home affects our children.  At the end of the day, no matter how we feel about each other, Celesse and Dillard deserve the best life ever and should only know happy days full of adventures. 

 From you my readers, my friends, my family I ask of you to please respect our privacy as gossip, hateful tales, and talk does not hurt Ryan or me, but it does hurt those 2 little faces that have done nothing wrong in life.  Please give us space, love, laughter, and days full of good wholesome excitement while we work through this, as negativity only does harm and positive thoughts brings strength.   

I know many of you may ask now, what happens here on Adventures Among Us, and my other blogs, well the story goes on.  We do have a summer full of adventures planned, and just like your job and everyday life goes on, ours does to. 

We thank you in advance for your respect, or your kind thoughts, and abundance of love. 

Becky & Ryan