The Great Soda Can Hunt with a Daisy Red Ryder BB Gun

There is nothing like 2 boys hunting soda cans with a Daisy Red Ryder BB Gun, this fills hours of our days, and brings many good laughs to us and our boys! 

Mom, I shot those soda cans, now they are died. 

 

Reloading the ammunition.

Might need a little assistance

Getting our sights set in.

Round 2 of reloading, I got this!

Note:  We do recycle our soda cans, even after they have a few BB holes in them! :-)

Trapped by Winter in Missouri

I think we are on our 20ish snow day here, not sure I have lost count and I think it is best that I no longer count.

Winter has been harsh here in Bollinger County, Missouri.  I have maybe drove my vehicle 10 times since Christmas....sighhh!

We have had the most snow this year than I can remember in all my life, but the snow is not the issue, it is the ice.  It is amazing what a little bit of ice can do to the roads.

While I am sick of being trapped by winter, and am ready for some creek swimming, lake fishing, and bike riding...I have found some amazing beauty in winter.

The Boys and their Pal

Snow Skyline

The creek down the road. 

Our neighbors barn just before sunset

Perfectly decorated

Searching for food.

A slow walk home. 

Lake front housing.

Piled up. 

Floating Snow

I cannot have anymore babies

So there is a nasty little rumor flying around that I am out to "trap" David into having another child with

D-man & I in 2009

me.....sighhh!

I normally ignore rumors, unless they involve my children, I guess an unborn child would be my child (or that is how I believe).

So I will address this rumor head on I CANNOT HAVE ANYMORE BABIES.....Would you like to see the medical records?

6 weeks before D-man was born I made the decision that he would be the last, then 24 hours after he was born I was carted off to surgery.

Now we all know with today's technology almost anything is reversible....except me being able to have children.

When D-man was 18 or so months old I became very sick.  This was not something I shared with just anyone, but since the topic has come up I will address it.

Something went wrong, really wrong.  I had what I call the never ending PMS ( abnormal uterine bleeding)..... from the July to December I could barely leave my house without fear that I would bleed to death, or cause a huge mess.

I pretty much hid the situation other than my frequent trips to the doctor, the never ending trips to Walmart for supplies, and the constant blood test to make sure I was not becoming anemic from all the blood loss.  

After 5 or so months of trying different medicines, testing, diet change, physical activity change, and who knows what.  The doctors decided that I had an increased amount of scar tissue in my uterus from 2 previous pregnancies, and a miscarriage (that I did not have a DNC for).

Late December 2009 I was carted off to surgery again.  This time the doctors performed a minor surgery called an endometrial ablation...Basically they destroyed the inside of my uterus. 

Endometrial ablation the procedure removes the uterine lining and typically results in infertility....which does not bother me as I had already made that choice to start with.

The way the doctor explained it to me, if I was to every become pregnant (miracles happen after tubal ligation) that I would not be able to carry the baby.  There is nothing left inside my uterus for the embryo to attach to....it would just pass right through.  This could cause more medical problems, but being that I had a tubal ligation the chance of me becoming pregnant is very very slim.  

Now don't get me wrong, it would be a great honor to be the biological mother to David's kids.  He is an incredible dad, even when being the good dad is not so cool.  However, at our ages, we both having two children of our own, and the way society is today....I am kind of glad that this is a topic that we will never have to discuss.

Now to the person/people who think I am after a child support check.....I am not.  I am not the kind of person to trap someone into having kids.  I think if you put you brain to work, did your research you would see that I didn't really want my other child support check, I loved having my family. 

 

Camoflauge, Hunting Blind, and Money.

The words "we need a hunting blind" made cringe all over.  I just could not see the reason we needed to spend so much money on something that was going to sit in the woods. 

It is needless to say that I know NOTHING about hunting and what we do need and don't need.  

Tonight we were on a mission, a mission that I knew I was not going to get out cheap on. When the words first come up, I thought okay maybe $60 then maybe $80.  When I was faced with $100 it made me sad to spend the money.  

It makes me mad to spend $4 on a gallon of milk, let alone $100 pm something I see no need in.   As I stood there venting at Jess (my gal pal) how I thought it was ridiculous we had to spend this kind of money on hunting stuff.  She looked straight at me and reminded me "David works hard for his money, and hunting season only last a few months."

I then realized not only was I being silly, but I was being selfish.  It is just $100, that is money that would have gotten blowed on silly nonsense, he deserves his blind and he shall get it.  

As I sit here typing this, he is across the room like a child on Christmas morning, putting together his new blind.   

Not only did splurging for his blind make him happy, it made me happy!  

All is Well, All is Happy!

Your Biggest Parenting Fail

To call me an expert at parenting would be a joke, to call me a good parent would make me laugh, as I see all my flaws daily.  However, I have become to a victim to "other" parent's screw ups.....

The BIGGEST Parenting Fail you can have is loving your child so much that you cannot admit they are wrong or have a problem. 

I get that it is hard to say my kid is out of control, I get that it is easier to throw money at the problem, hide the situation from your friends, and pray like mad that it will go away.  SURPRISE, it don't, it only gets worse, it only gets nastier, and it only gets more embarrassing.

In my own family I have seen this, many of my failed relationships are from people not being able to own up and take control of their own problems, and sadly parents getting involved and BAILING them out.

Parents the next time that little man or woman comes home and tells you that their teacher is picking on them, check their facts.  I know it is near impossible to call your own child a liar, but they don't want to disappoint you, so they make themselves look good.

The next time your teenage daughter or son tells you that "their friends" did it as they watched, you better think twice.

The next time your grown son or daughter tells you that someone is just out to get them, think about the time you  should have busted their butt for lying, you caught them out past curfew and let it slide, or when bailed them out of jail for stealing.....chances are you FAILED at parenting and now you have raised a MONSTER.

I beg of all fellow parents, I know it is hard to admit your child messes up or has "problems", but think deep when you see them mess up.  I realize mess ups happen, but mess ups are meant to be a learning process, not a stepping stone for their next mess up.

It may seem awful that I told my son "if you ever drop out of school, then you have to get a job, get your own house, and take care of yourself"....but the fact is I don't want him thinking that mommy is always going to put groceries in front of him no matter what he does.

As Harry S Truman said "The Buck Stops Here" and it does!   This momma is not planning (note I can't control their future actions) the next Convict, Cheater, Thief, or  Bully!  

~Becky

They are Back To School....

And they are off.......The monsters have returned to school!  Momma wipes a small tear that rolls down my cheek...For the first time in 10 years I do not have a kiddo at home with me.  This is unbelievable!

My Brilliant Kindergartener

Obviously Thrilled about the thought of School!

This is BoCo in the Spring

Yes this is home, these are the views that I see every day!   Amazing that I am blessed this much in Rural Missouri!

Laundry Day reminds me of how much I love my kids.

Today as I strung our laundry my clothesline, I remembered how many times I have washed, dried, and smelled my children’s clothes….there is nothing lovelier than the sweetness of your own children.   I have been criticized before for saying that it was not my intention to ever have children, this statement is true.  As a teenager and young adult I did not want to have children…I had other plans, but for some reason today, I cannot remember what those plans were.

Motherhood has changed me greatly; yesterday I stood in my old high school gym and watched Lesse dribble the basketball down the same court that I played on as a child.  I could not help, but wipe the tear from my eye, I love being a MOM.  I love every minute of watching my children succeed, watching them learn, watching them love, and crazy as it sounds watching them fight.  

I may say that I never intended to be a mom, because that is true, but God had other plans and when my name was drawn for motherhood, I stepped up and took the challenge.

Dear Lesse & D-man,
Day after day we do not see eye to eye, you are both currently grounded from you IPods, frustrated that I won’t let you have that last soda in the fridge, and attempting convince PaPa that mommy is mean.  I smile smartly at you, as I know that you are just being my children and acting exactly how I expect you to act. 
I know in the near future we are going to have many disagreements and there may be a day that you question how much your momma loves you.  Today I am going to tell you how much I love you!
I love you so much that I climb your bunk beds to feed your fish that I despise.
I love you so much that I often roll over in my bed and find racecars, Tonka trucks, and tractors lined up next to me and just smile. 
I love you so much that I have not wore a normal color of nail polish in good while…neon pink seems to be my new style.
I love you so much that when I hear you giggle at 11 pm I may sigh aloud, but I secretly giggle inside.
I love you so much that I mop the bathroom twice a night every night….with bubble bath water. 
I love you so much that I often smell like sweaty little boy and mangos (mango is Lesse’s current perfume choice).I love you so much that I often wear mud prints from your dog all over me. 
I love you so much that instead of driving our truck up the road I often drive the tractor so that I can see you smile.
I love you so much that while you sleep I work, so while you play I can watch.
I love you so much that I secretly hate pop tarts, zebra cakes, nutty butter bars, but I eat them anyways.
I love you so much that I cannot remember to text my own friends, but I have text your friends every night this week to tell them you are grounded and will have to text them next week, but I will give you their message.I love you so much that I cannot remember the last time I read a book that had more than 10 pages and less than 10 pictures.
I love you so much that I know what is burdening your heart, I am praying for the same answer, and I cry because of your heartache. Kiddos, life is not fair, being a parent is hard….I wish that I could make things be easy for you.  I am doing the best I can at being a mommy, I am so proud of how strong, honest, and loving you two have become.  One day we will together look back on all the chaos that surrounds us, wipe our brow, and say we conquered this and we did it with dignity!    Love you bunches,
Mommy

eBags Mother Lode TLS Weekender Convertible..The Mother's Day Gift I would buy for myself!

The Mother’s Day gift I would buy myself!  The eBags Mother Lode TLS Weekender Convertible

bag...Seriously!  I have bags coming out of everywhere, in fact when I moved home a while back my Dad laughed as he unloaded 2 totes of empty bags (I am a small bag hoarder).  Then two days later, my ebags Mother Lode arrived…HaHa Dad.  

Then this  past weekend I packed up my kiddos to go visit their Auntie and I decided I would try out my new bag. Shortly after getting the bag packed I decided I was jealous they were getting to use the bag first!  I absolutely love my eBags Mother Lode TLSWeekender…Seriously! 

People are not disposable….

It is no secret that this past few years has been nothing but a train wreck straight from hell.  I often think to myself that I will one day wake up and this will have all been a dream and I will step back and will have my happy little family back again.  Then I slap myself to reality and remember that I must remember the good days to get through the bad days.

I have not wrote much about my divorce for several months, because every time I would say something I lived in fear that it could be considered slander, or every time I posted something people would say I was whining, bashing, or just being a baby. 

Today, I have decided to speak up and speak loudly.  I am NOT whining, bashing, or being a baby the ending of my marriage was nearly devastating.  I loved my husband with all my heart, I think many of my readers can recall how I spoke about him, posted photos of him and the kids, and I was always anxious for him to come home at the end of the week.  He was the one person I thought would always have my back, and then I realized that Satan could and had pulled him away.  There were times over the past year I would see glimpse of hope or the “old” him, and then they were always followed by the “other” him.

Every day I want to scream THIS IS NOT FAIR, because dammit it is not fair!  This is not how I had planned my life to be, this is not how I had wanted my life to be when I married him, and this is not what I wanted for my kids.  It is not fair that I have to tell my kids daily that I don’t know why this happened, I don’t know why this is the way it is, and no things will never go back to the way things use to be.

Daily I hear about another family going through the same battles I have been fighting or have fought over the past few years and my heart just breaks!  I question the value of marriage, what people think when they say “I do” and I question are people this disposable that we can throw one spouse away and quickly replace them with new someone.  To me marriage is an oath not only to your partner, but also to God that you will love, honor, protect, cherish, and walk on hell’s fire for that other person. 

Last week, I was questioned if I was truly over “him” and I rather giggled…..truth is I will never be over him and until you have walked in my shoes you will never understand how I feel.  He is the father of my children and I will always love and pray for him.  Every morning I begin my day with prayer and I pray for his protection, for God to guide him through the day, and him to find peace in his heart.  I have been judged, marked, and spoken about, because I do not give up on him and I do not hate him.  I have been bitter in the past, have said things that are hateful, but as I have learned I needed time to grieve!  I have also learned that people feed on drama, hate, and bitterness; they will keep the drama flowing as long as they can....I do not desire that!  I live for peace, love, and happiness!  

The pain I feel now is not the same pain I have always felt, it is the pain of knowing what is going on, but not being able to do anything about it.  Every 2 weeks I send my children to visit "him" and when they come home, I hear things that I wish I never had to hear, and I am sure many single parents can relate to this same feeling.  This is not how I had hoped my children’s life would be, this is not how I intended for my kids to grow up.  I wanted them to have both parents living in the same house, see both parents loving them together and apart, and understand how God intended marriage to be.  However, this is what I was dealt and this is what the game of life I will play. 

I feel strongly that God is telling me that this battle is not over, that I need to continue to pray a hedge around my family, and oddly, I need to continue to pray a hedge around “him”.  I believe in my heart that while we may not see eye to eye on much of anything that he is and can be a good person, and may someday do great things in this world.  I also believe that people are not disposable and everyone that has entered my life has entered for a purpose.  His purpose was obviously the gift of my two amazing children! 

As I continue this journey as a “single” parent, I ask of you as my readers, my friends, and my family to continue to pray for our children, “him”, our future, and me.  I know things will never go back to the way they use to be, but I know that we can and will have a bright future!

God Bless,

Becky 

10 Blessings of Moving

I think we will just call this place HOME!

We are MOVED...yes, we are now residing back home on my Dad's farm!  While, I say we are moved, we have boxes stacked everywhere and I am not sure where my clothes for tomorrow are, but we have a bed and clean sheets!

Today, I was reminded all over again of all the special blessings in my life.  I know God is gently reminding me that while this storm (my marriage ending) is rough, I have been blessed more than I will ever know!

1.  My Family - when in need my family is there to help, pray, and give motivation!

2.  Friends - my amazing friends that covered us in prayer, did some heavy lifting, or helped entertain kids...YOU ALL ROCK!

3.  COFFEE - Dear Lord, thank you for all the Coffee Bean Farmers!

4.  Hot shower - yes it was the most amazing feeling tonight to take a steamy hot shower!

5.  Purina Protein Tubs - Blog post coming soon to explain this!

6.  Comfy Shoes - oh the relief of my sore feet!

7.  Laughter - many laughs today as we packed, moved, and giggled at others expense.

8.  Ice - it seemed cool today, but ice cold drinks tasted so good!

9.  Unorganized Stuff - it is fun to find tomato soup in my sock drawer....packing can be fun!

10.  God's Guidance - this week has been trying, exhausting, heartbreaking, but no matter where I turned, the pain I felt, I knew I had God on my side!

God Bless you all, thank you for all your prayers, and Good Night!

Becky, Lesse, & D- man  (aka FARMERS)

Happy Holidays 2012

Happy Holidays from our gang to yours!  May your days be filled with love, laughter, and a few comical moments!

Love,

Becky, Lesse, & D-man

Heaven Just Gained our Best Angel

Christmas 2011

Many of our readers have heard us speak of our beloved GaGa.  We have been road tripping to GaGa for six years, spent many hours on the phone with GaGa, drawing pictures with or for GaGa, and teaching our GaGa how to make the perfect funny face.  

Tonight our GaGa finished growing her Angel Wings as Mr D-man puts it and is now painting rainbows all over Heaven. 

While my heart aches as I have just lost my best friend, my secret keeper, and the person who taught me many of the important things in life; I also know GaGa is dancing on the streets of gold. 

We appreciate all the prayers, thoughtfulness, love, and everything else that everyone is sending our way.  I can never put into words how awesome and supportive you all are and how much I appreciate you!  

Thank You & May God Bless you all!

~Becky, Lesse, & D-man