Hi it’s just me. I feel like it is has been ages since I actually used this silly little blog I built. That was what I use to refer to it as. When I was secretly proud of The Missouri Mom, but thought I annoyed people.
Lately inside of me there has been a war, a war for writing, a war for overcoming, and a war for why I even care what people think about me.
I didn’t build The Missouri Mom for attention. I built it to share my experiences as a mom, a woman, and a person, in hopes to help others navigate similar obstacles I faced.
A lot has changed since my first post, but nothing has really changed. I still want to help people and I still help people every day. It is my calling.
But why no writing? No Blogging? Embarrassment, Social Pressure, Idea Differences. Below the skin level, I am a people pleaser.
Every week I think back to the day I received a copy of one of my articles, with my daughter's picture attached to it, at my home address. I held that letter with tears rolling down my cheeks. I needed to give it all up; someone thought I was dumb. I called my editors who all begged me not to quit but suggested I take an alias writing name. We jumped through hoops, confused the world, and to this day I find the whole mess annoying.
I later learned through conversations the letter likely came from a close relative that still to this day takes jabs at me on social media. Battle Wounds.
I hide, they win.
In 2012, I went through the darkest moments of my life. I tore apart what appeared on social media to be the picture-perfect marriage. It was all a lie. There is no picture-perfect marriage.
He blamed me, I blamed him, no one blamed the fact that I likely got pregnant the night I met him and were not matched equally. The only things that survived that mess was two amazing children that God gifted us and lots of life experience that I could use to help others.
During that dark time, I went on a luxurious press trip to Dallas, Texas and Grapevine, Texas. Stayed at the Omni in Dallas, there were televisions in the bathtub, and we snuck into Jewel's concert. It was a trip of a lifetime; no it was the trip my life needed at the time.