Tuesday, October 14, 2014

11 things that can STOP that Wrecking Ball headed towards your Relationship

Relationships can either suck the life from you or help you prosper and be a better person - a relationship is all what two people make of it - and no matter what; you have to work at it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I have talked a lot about relationships - I have been ridiculed, criticized, and even threatened for talking about relationships.   Some say I am a bitter ex, some say that I am a dreamer, but no-one truly knows where my heart lays.

The truth is I am a realist - I am real person that thinks things through (most of the time) - sees things for the way they are - and unbelievably I understand the bigger picture of life.

I have had a "few" relationships in my life - JUST A FEW - and I have learned a few things the hard way! 

1.  Listen to what your partner is saying - I cannot stress this enough.  If your partner says I AM NOT HAPPY - stop, take a moment and figure it out - you don't want an unhappy partner, nor do you want to be unhappy yourself....so figure out what is going on.  

2.  Tell your partner what is up - if you are unhappy, something is not right, you should NEVER be afraid to speak up and say "this is NOT right"  - if you are afraid, get out of that relationship, it is not healthy for you. 

3.  Be an Open Book - You should always be able to tell your partner everything that is going on in your life - that does not mean you have to, but you should be able to.  If there is something you do not want your partner to know - then you should not be doing it. 

4.  Stop punishing your partner for your past - I get it that love hurts, I get that people carry the baggage from one relationship to the next - unfortunately that often ruins your current relationship and even future ones.  Look at your "current" partner as a new beginning - if they have not hurt you - then trust they wont - don't automatically assume everyone in life is going to hurt you.  

5.  Let it go - let the past go - yes it is okay to talk about your past - after all your past is what made you who you are - however, if you bring up your ex every hour of the day, if that ex dominates your life, if your Facebook post are about your ex (good or bad) then you are not over the ex ----- and need to let it go. 

6.  Be healthy - no one wants to listen to someone complain about how crappy they feel, how tired they are,and how .......... they are.  Don't feel good?  Do something about it!  Figure it out - Going for a walk can do wonders! 

7.  Be Intimate - In the past I have heard my gal pals complain about "intimacy" and "Oh my God - they are so tired and he wants what......"  ----- fast forward down the road and their partner has cheated on them, or walked out on them - you know the story.  FACT:  Intimacy is more than have sex - intimacy is a connection between two people who love each other.   That connection is NEEDED for love to thrive - if it is not there, then .......

8.  Do not be scared - Is your partner chasing you with an ax, chainsaw, or any other deadly tool?  If so, you got some weird stuff going on.  If not, do NOT be afraid of them - they should never do anything to harm you if they love you, so don't be scared.  

9.  Be Connected - I get that raising kids, juggling outlaws and in-laws, working, not working, and all that other jazz really gets in the way.  However, you need to be connected, understand what each other is saying, and take at least 5 minutes a day to shut the world off and just have "you 2" time.   

10.  Compliment Each Other  EVERY SINGLE DAY - men and women fail at this all the time, we let life over come us and we don't see the simple beautiful things in our partners - however, we never fail to see the negative...sigh.   Tell your partner something GOOD every single day!  Rather it be the way they smell, the light in their eyes, or even how they poured your tea in your glass.  Do not just say "thank you" say I liked how you did that, I like that twinkle in your eyes......you get my point.  Just a heads up - if you don't compliment your partner, someone else will.....and that can lead to something you do not want. 

11.  Be willing to Laugh a lot - Be funny, Be happy, and Be full of life

Note, I am prepared for criticism, ridicule, or anything else.  If these things hit home with you, please do not blame me, I did not write them about you, I wrote them as a general statement.   

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