Today on the ride home from town I had the grown up serious discussion with my 11 year old daughter - I just laid it all out for her - so that she really understood the consequences of liking boys.
Here is what you have to be prepared for when you like boys.
1. If I see you acting inappropriately with a boy, I will stand up and yell out "Stop touching each other" and will continue to yell until everyone has heard me, realizes I am your mother, and knows that you should not behave that way. I assure you this will be the most embarrassing moment in your life and will haunt you for the rest of your life or until you are 26ish - so do not risk it.
2. Between now and the age of 26 you will fall in and out of love more times than you change your
3. Boys should not see, touch, or discuss with you body parts that they cannot visibly see while you are fully dressed - fully dressed means: shirts, pants, socks, shoes, and something covering you butt - they should not discuss your butt either. You should not discuss a boy's body parts that is covered when he is fully dressed either - this means no pictures, no sexting, no mentioning - basically do NOT think about it.
4. Boys really do have germs - germs besides cooties, they can have germs that can cause body parts to either fall off or look like something growing a science project - so don't risk becoming some doctors science project.
5. Sex causes you to have babies - babies are from 2 people having sex - also known as "hooking up" "sleeping together" "messing around" - or any other slang term that means 2 (or more) people laying together naked. Oh and having that baby is very very very painful - so painful that you will never ever forget it.
6. If you have sex, I will know - there are exams doctors can do to tell parents that you are sexually active - so you can hide NOTHING from your parents.
7. If you decide at sometime in your life to have sex and you become pregnant - your baby will be meaner than I am. It will make you vomit, feel awful, and dictate your life for 9 months. Then it will cause you hours of hard physical labor to come out of your body, followed by 18 years of someone screaming, yelling, stomping, dictating, and ruling your life - it will not be fun....especially if you are a still a child yourself - just don't risk it.
8. I am not raising your children - I promise you I am NOT raising your children. My parents are not raising you and I will not raise your kids. So be sure you can care for something BEFORE you commit to having one - by the way the commitment happens when you have sex - from there it is all down hill.
9. Boys will use flowery seductive words to get you to do what they want - I have heard every line in the book, I promise you that. They can use flowery words, threaten you, and say unthinkable things to convince you that sex is okay - be the bigger person and tell them NO - if they are still persistent, let me talk to them.
10. Saying NO is not uncool - they may tell all their friends that you said no, chances are they won't because they will feel like more of a failure than you, but either way - you are making the right and cool decision. Think of your long term goals; college, fast cars, moving away - then think about how cool that car will look with that screaming 2 year old in the back seat, think about easy to move away if you are a walking science project due to those germs you caught - 5 minutes of pleasure is not worth the rest of your life.
I know this seems a tad rough, especially considering she is only 11. However, children are not children these days - we cannot "protect" our kids from the outside influences as we once did.
Adolescents are becoming sexually active at a younger age and while I hate the idea of discussing it and know that it humiliates my kids for me to be so blunt about it - there is no other way to be.
Here are few "shocking" statistics for you to mull over before you bash me on Facebook for talking about sex and educating my child.
- Teen mothers account for 11% of all births in the US.
- US teen pregnancy rates are higher than those of other developed countries.
- Studies suggest that as many as 20 percent of adolescents have had oral sex by the end of their freshman year in high school - for those who think that is "no big deal" google herpes to learn how you can get oral herpes. GAG!
- In 2010, the birth rate for girls ages 15 to 19 in rural counties was 43 per 1,000.
- In Missouri on average 54 out of 1000 teens become pregnant yearly - 1000 is about the size of my kid's school so we could very well end up with about 54 girls pregnant a year ---- UMMMM?!?!?
- "You're 2.5 times more likely to have sex by the 9th grade if you think your friends are having sex -- whether or not they really are,"
- According to the CDC survey, 28 percent of males age 15-17 reported giving oral sex to a female and 40 percent reported receiving oral sex from a female. Among females aged 15-17, 30 percent report giving oral sex to a male, and 38 percent report receiving oral sex from a male.