Friday, July 3, 2015

The Husband List

Months ago I was reading this foo foo magazine (probably Cosmopolitan or something) the magazine had a list of qualities your husband or significant other must have - at first it intrigued me.   

Then it made me ponder a while - do we need a list of what our future husband must have?

As I thought about it a bit more, I realized I have always had that list of things that I desired the man I am with to have.  However, I have NEVER put them to paper and made myself stick to them - go figure, that's why I am single.

Having a list is sort of like having a set of rules for yourself, things you will and will not accept or do in your life.  These things can and should be dominated by your religious beliefs, your morals, and your standard for living.

There are things as an individual you can and cannot settle for and there are things you absolutely should not settle for.

I have made my list; while my list is much different than that foo foo magazine, it is still very important facts in my life.

My Husband List....

He must be a practicing believer in Jesus Christ - saying you believe and promising you will go to church is not good enough. I have been in 3 significant relationships in my life, all three swore to go to church with me, they would occasionally attend, but more times than not they would pull me away from church and God.  A practicing believer shows their faith in every walk of life - now I struggle myself with this sometimes, so I need someone who will help bring me closer to God and not pull me away.

He will pursue me; find it old fashion, or find it Biblical - I have said many of times I will not chase a man, as the man will come to me.  Men have argued with me stating that it would appear I have no interest in them - Umm Seriously???  The fact is Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”  Notice the HE who finds??? Not she will find.  It is the man's duty to take lead in a relationship and a Godly man will lead you down the right path.


He must be the head of the household; yep you just read that.  SHOCKER, Becky is a tad old fashion, but I firmly believe that it is God's will is that the man be in charge of the household.  Now does this mean this man dominates my life - umm no Sir, but household decisions, family decisions, and financial decisions should go through him as he is the breadwinner of the home.


He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?  1 Timothy 3:4-5 ESV


He must be a good parent; now this is not to say I wouldn't be with someone who didn't have kids, but this is to say the person in my life must have good parenting skills - I am a package deal and while my children have an active dad in their life, there will be times that this person would have to step up to the plate.  I need to know they can hit a home run out of the park when needed.

He must have a steady job earning an honest dollar;  I get it that people change careers, jobs are hard to come by, but I am not here to financially support another person.  To fulfill the duty of the Head of the Household, he obviously has to be the breadwinner or a financial supporter in our household.

He must have patience; I am not an easy person to live with, for no better words, I am female.  I am emotional, passionate, sporadic, full of life, addicted to coffee, and a walking mess.  Whomever this person who comes into my life to fill this role, I have already started praying that God gives you patience of Job

He must have an understanding that money and things are not everything;  Life is about living, love is about giving, but none of those things require fancy diamonds, expensive meals, and big houses.  I love the song by Josh Turner "Time is Love" - he nailed it with the words "But I got someone who waits, Waits for me and right now, She's where I need to be, Time is love, gotta run."  The person who enters my life will know our time together is precious and priceless - worth more than any ring he could buy, or any house he could build.

He is willing to wait for intimacy; much different than the foo foo magazine, sex takes a different tone in my love life.  Just months before my beloved GaGa passed away she said to me "Becky, I remember the first and the last time I made love to your grandfather, hold tight for that kind of love, for I know there is a special man out there for you" - at that time none of that made sense to me, as I was in the middle of getting a divorce and it is quite obvious I am no virgin.  However, I get it now, each new relationship is pure and true - so intimacy (sex) is worth waiting for, and furthermore because this is often asked by gentlemen - we don't need to practice run; as intimacy (sex) is perfect when there is true love.

While I suspect your list will be different I do encourage you to make one - so that you to can hold to your beliefs, ideas, and standard of living.


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