Friday, July 12, 2013

The Infatuation of Me....

via beckydavenport

Over the past year it has come to my attention that people almost become infatuated with my "online persona".....every time this happens it makes me think of the Brad Paisley song "Online" So Much Cooler Online.

I will disclose that I am REAL, completely with all my flaws, however, knowing someone online and knowing someone in real life is way different.....I am really NOT that cool!

After the last round inbox message telling me how beautiful I am, what a wonderful mother I must be, and it's such a shame I live so far away I have decided to tell the world why you would not love me in person!

  • I am BLUNT...okay so blunt I forget my manners and I often get myself into holes that I cannot dig myself out. 
  • I am 20 maybe 30 pounds overweight.....Yeah photos can be deceiving, I am NOT a knock out or a supermodel and by the way I really don't give a SXXX that I am overweight, I like my fried chicken and mashed potatoes. 
  • I Drink TOO MUCH Coffee
  • I can't remember the last time I had a haircut, put on makeup, or bothered to color the gray out of my
    ZOOM in to see my unbrushed gray hairs! 
    hair.....I am too busy for those frivolous things, I would rather be fishing, chasing chickens, or working in my garden.
  • I can never remember anyone's birthday (thank God for Facebook reminders), but by golly YOU HAD BETTER REMEMBER MINE....speaking of which I will be 31 in a few days and I am proudly rocking my 30's. 
  • I am demanding, I expect attention, I talk ALOT, I expect you to talk to me...sometimes about things that are dumb. 
  • I am a busy body....I can't stand to sit still, so I create projects to do and often con other people into helping me with those projects. 
  • I swim in creeks....but I DO NOT go skinny dipping anymore. 
  • I hate to drive, I would prefer to ride in a car so I can take pictures of the things around me. 
  • I have an issue with jealousy.....I am a 1 man woman, and expect all the women to STAY AWAY from the man I am with.  
  • I have flabby arms, seriously I could wave flags under those things.  I lift weights regularly NOT....I lift weights when I remember to and feel guilty about the piece or entire box of brownies I maybe I do excercise alot, because I eat brownies alot! :-) 
  • I get frustrated easily...I don't hold grudges, but I can be mad at you 10 or 15 times a day, but get happy 30 seconds later.  I warn you this probably the most annoying thing about me.....I call it moody, hormonal, or just being a spoiled brat.  
  • I play my music too loud and listen to crazy music.
  • I am stubborn, so stubborn that I refuse to normally admit I am stubborn. 
  • I am a Daddy's girl, incase you hadn't noticed!  I think my dad intentionally spoiled me rotten, so no man could tolerate me very long!  
  • I buy most of my clothes at Target, Walmart, the second hand store in my hometown, JCPenney, and occasionally I will go all out and shop at Kohls.  
  • I wear my dresses to short, or so I have been told....I seriously don't even look in the mirror. 
  • I don't wear socks with my shoes, socks make my feet sweat, so I don't typically bother with them.
  • I forget to call my friends, boyfriends, and family....I hate talking on the phone, so I often forget to return phone calls....speaking of which I need to call my Mom. 
  • I tell people I am very busy, but then I can't ever remember what I am busy doing. 
  • I need to read the Bible more, because when I sit in church I am often wondering why things sounds familiar, but I can't remember why. 
  • I don't like to spend money, infact I clip coupons, budget my grocery list, and refuse to buy things......  
  • I get lonely....even with people in the room with me I am lonely.  I have a need for attention, okay there I confessed it...I WANT ALL THE ATTENTION ALL THE TIME!
  • I worry everything I write will be used against me....I often fear people will judge me for what I say or do.  

Oh and I forgot to add I AM POOR....financially POOR and I prefer it that way!  Yes it is true, I am not rich and I prefer not to be rich. I have seen how money makes people, how people believe they are better than others because they have money, how people dictate others with money.....I prefer to be poor, free, and happy!  

Now for all those people that message me, tweet me, or email please understand that yes I am the same person online as I am in real life, but there is no way possible that you can truly know me just by the things I say.  I appreciate that you admire me, I appreciate that you see all my good qualities, but please understand that grass is never greener on the other side, other people are just as cool as me, and there is no need to be in awe of me!



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