Laughing through the Tears: Day 70

Seventy days ago my mother-in-law went to heaven.  Seventy Days!  That's all?  That many?
They say mom's hold the household together.  You think that's not true? Lose the main mom in the family and see what happens.....

My mother-in-law was my mother-in-law for 1116 days, but she was my husband's momma for 12,938 days - that meant she was head mom in our world. She was queen of the know-how and a

true saint when it came to the grandma department.

In the past 70 days I have reluctantly filled her shoes in many ways, but not without tears.  I have cried, I have cried a lot.  I stood in her closet last week looked at her shoes and cried.  I cried because I miss her, I cried because I don't know how to cook like her, I cried because I need her advice, and I cried because she just was who she was.  I then wiped my tears, put on a smile and walked to the other room to only laugh along with my kids and PaPa Tom (my husband's father).

My life, my perfectly well planned life, was turned upside down with new task, new meaning, and new adventures.   I am head mom.  I am the mom of the world. I am the main mom in their world.

I make meatloaf - not good, but I make meatloaf.   I cheer louder.  I balance two checkbooks.  I buy iceberg lettuce and real lettuce (the kind that has nutrients).  I just do for no other reason than that is what needs to be done.

I don't do without laughter.   We cry then we laugh.  We remember then we laugh.  We talk then we laugh.   We laugh because she would have laughed. She is probably laughing at us now!